From love bombing to isolation, how do they manipulate new members?
A deep dive into the tactics used by the Chabad Lubavitch sect.
Both of my parents are modern, practising Jews. They inherited Algerian and Moroccan cultures from their parents and large families—a simple and humble way of perceiving God, practising religion, and understanding their place in the world. They follow in the footsteps of their North African Jewish heritage, right down to their language, food, humour, and warmth. They are what we often refer to as "traditionalists," with one or two additional degrees of religious observance. They are, and have always been, at the complete opposite of any form of orthodoxy, extreme rigidity, radical movements, idolatry, racism, or dogmatic ideas that manifest within religion.
1 Targeting Vulnerable Individuals
In the opening lines of my book, A Thunderous Elephant, and throughout the chapter 1, I explain the brainwashing I underwent after being approached and recruited by the Chabad Lubavitch sect. This brainwashing lasted a decade and had repercussions for about fifteen years. I was only 18 at the time, and you must understand that a Jew of that age, growing up in a private religious school, knows about as much of the world as an 8-year-old child. This is because young children and teenagers growing up in Europe, especially in France, are sheltered, protected, and often raised in environments closed off from the outside world. They only truly discover the world when they go to university.
Being recruited at 18 under such circumstances is essentially like taking a child by the hand and leading them into an "educational vortex” where every aspect of life is strictly regulated down to the smallest detail. Every belief is hammered in until it is deeply ingrained, so that the adult who later emerges fully embodies these ideas and navigates the world based on this "education"—one that is toxic for the individual, those around them and the world in general.
2 Love Bombing all along
After two encounters with this member of Chabad, he insisted to my mother that I should spend the Jewish New Year holidays in NYC, at the sect’s headquarters. I was fully taken care of, except for the Paris-NYC plane ticket.
To give you an idea of the emotional wave I experienced during these holidays, imagine a wave a hundred meters high crashing down on you and throwing you into an emotional steamroller.
During the Jewish New Year celebrations, all the emissaries engaged in their racist and supremacist brainwashing work worldwide—across more than 100 countries—do everything they can to be present at 770 Eastern Parkway, Brooklyn. Tens of thousands of members sing, pray, and dance together during prayer services, celebrations, "aperitifs" that resemble lavish New Year's feasts. Bottles of alcohol are emptied as fast as they are opened. There is a madness in the air, an ecstatic state of mind, a boundless joy, and a sense of omnipotence that they feel and transmit to you throughout the day.
I was never alone—I may have been by myself for just one or two afternoons over the 12 days of my visit. They are very welcoming, quickly becoming acquaintances, then friends, inviting you to share a meal at their homes, opening their doors to you, sharing their opinions and their love—not of Judaism, not of YHVH, but of their master, their guru, and all the miracles he performed in his lifetime and after his death when he became an omniscient, all-powerful spirit. They express their infinite devotion to HIM, this deceased man.
They quickly establish a sense of closeness, a connection, an understanding of you—personally—that makes you feel at ease. You feel wrapped in cotton—soft, white, peaceful—and you don’t want to leave.
No matter what barriers or reluctances you may have on certain topics, they are patient and calm. They know how to counter your arguments, point by point without hurting your ego, without offending or belittling you, because their goal is to bring you into the movement. I always faced older individuals, more knowledgeable and far more skilled in controversy and ideological battles than I was. I was so young, I didn’t know how to respond—I was simply a sponge.
During those days and the years that followed, being in their presence was like having a strawberry lollipop in my mouth at all times. My brain had become addicted to the sugar, to their joy of life—something I found nowhere else.
It was a decade later when I realised I was going in circles in my life, something deep and established was just not working. They had put bricks and cement in my hands in such a way that I was immobile. Everywhere I looked for doors, I found walls. I did not have a sudden awakening, it happened little by little, slowly I understood that I had been the victim of a psychological grip, of a religious brainwashing. My new readings allowed me to develop other beliefs and these gradually distanced me from the dangerous madness of Chabad.
3 Deceptive Practices
They are erudite; the study of the sacred texts—that are deeply racist and supremacist—is of utmost importance to them. At first, they hide this aspect from you. They simply tell you that studying is essential, that knowledge helps one understand why Judaism is practiced, what the purpose of a Jew’s life is, and above all, that one must study because God ordered it in the Bible—therefore, it is a commandment that must be followed.
Later, when they are sure they can trust you, when they believe you will remain silent, they teach you their deeper, hidden doctrine—their racist teachings, their barely concealed disdain for anything that is not Jewish. They teach that we, the Jews, are "an intrinsically and infinitely superior race to all of humanity," and everything that follows from that.
The Jewish messiah is the messiah of all humanity. Period. The messiah has already come—it is him, our master. They have clearly taken a "Christ-like" turn, firmly convinced that their master will return from the dead to save them.
Their mantra?
"Long live our master, our teacher, our rabbi, the king messiah forever and ever."
Over the past two millennia, there are many rabbis or masters in Judaism, but the wiser they were (as wise as one can be while practicing a religion), the more they “canceled” themselves before God, and their disciples did the same. There were the small men below, and above them, God or the infinite. But this was not the case with Chabad. They were obsessed with their master— they had this unhealthy, compulsive relationship, one that was mine as well for many years.
4 Isolation
Very often, when it comes to cults or sects, isolation is one of the key steps implemented to imprison recruits, separate them from their original environment, and dissolve them into the mass of members.
In the case of Chabad, if you were born into the sect—that is, if your parents are Chabad—then it is almost certain that you will not go to university, you will not be part of a sports team, or any association where you would be in contact with non-Jews. The reason given is that the influence of the outside world would be harmful and dangerous because the morals, customs and habits of non-Jews would inevitably affect you.
The numerous letters exchanged between the guru Menahem Mendel Schneerson and Jews who sought his advice confirm his stance: Public university is a sworn enemy. He describes it as a place that tests one’s faith and where one can catch "contagious diseases," religiously or spiritually speaking. Consequently, one must stay far away from it. So, isolation begins very early—or rather, everything is done to ensure its continuity.
What about new members like me? In my case, there was no physical isolation. However, as the months of study went by, I became stricter than my family regarding kosher food, the behaviour facing non-Jews, relationships with women, masturbation, bisexuality (I locked away my feminine side…), the overwhelming importance of religious study, and, ultimately, the very purpose of life—which, according to them, was to serve God and make a place for Him in the lower world. A noble cause, in theory.
Thus, isolation for new members is initially psychological. Through study, we gradually separate from our loved ones and proudly display our difference. And when we live with them, conflicts inevitably arise because our beliefs change. At 20, I threw away unopened food many times, claiming it wasn’t kosher or wasn’t under the strictest rabbinical supervision. My stepfather, who did the grocery shopping, did not appreciate it…
I also abandoned a true friend along the way, arguing that we were taking "different paths." I didn’t realise at the time how misguided that decision was. For many years, I ignored non-Jewish women who showed interest in me, thus depriving myself of emotional nourishment.
During these years of "training," or religious brainwashing, each person evolves differently. While I was drifting toward orthodoxy, no one around me stopped me. Was it condemnable to spend more time praying and studying? My family and I were naïve.
5 Exploiting Personal Vulnerabilities
Among the many weaknesses and concerns that a young man like me could have had, the absence of a paternal authority and sexuality were at the top of the list.
My stepfather was a real friend, but "The Father," with all that it implies in terms of authority, was absent. It was in this empty space that the guru inserted himself. The all-powerful and omniscient figure of the guru took the place of the father. The spiritual father replaced the real father. Everything I should have asked for, hoped for, or expected from my absent father, I instead sought it from the guru. There is an undeniably paternal relationship between the guru and the sect members. He represents authority, he left writings that dictate what to do, and whenever you have questions, you are never left without answers—because Chabad members practice a form of divination (cartomancy) with his letters to communicate with the guru’s spirit. Needless to say, obedience is absolute and unquestionable, much like a child’s obedience to their father.
It was only 20 years later, at 38, under particular circumstances, that I found myself living with my father. We got to know each other, made peace, and now get along very well, with no lingering resentment from the past. We are different people who are capable of appreciating and understanding each other.
As for sexuality, guilt was introduced very early—shame of the body, disgust for desire and masturbation, regrets, psychological restriction and mortification. They believe they must behave like angels, they aspire to reach the level of angels. They have a corrupted concept of purity. To them, purity is when sexuality is all about reproduction. When it’s not, it’s evil. They control and compress all forms of desire and pleasure by excessive mastery and shame. What about queer people? According to them, not being heterosexual is a sin and a divine punishment.
Chabad members wear a black “religious” belt, which they tighten around their midsection to separate the body into two parts: the upper and the lower. This division serves as a constant reminder that they must live through the upper part, as the flesh, desires, and everything associated with them are considered spiritually low and are used by evil forces to bring them down.
6 Coercive Control and Manipulation
They have several pillars and twisted ideas. But this one is central and recurring.
"You do not have access to God, you need the master, you need an intermediary to receive the divine blessing for all your material and spiritual needs."
It is probably the phrase and the concept that I have heard and read the most for a decade. The primordial necessity of relying on the master because he is the only one who can intervene on our behalf, in the heavens and here below. When this belief is ingrained in the mind, everything else follows naturally—it is only a matter of time.
Imagine a line, on one side there is you and on the other side there is another you, being completely devoted to Chabad Lubavitch, you are dressed in black and wearing a black hat. I lived between 18 and 28 years old with most of my foot on the other side of the line.
Every part of my life was controlled. Food, beard, sexualities hidden in the closet, belief in superiority of Jewish souls, my creative personality was at the service of religious beliefs, I went through psychological restrictions (I am talking about the impossibility of receiving love and affection from non-Jewish women), limited career choices, restricted openness to the world. The prism they placed on my eyes was during these years, my main operating system.
In this photo taken by my brother-in-law in January 2014 (I was 28 years old), on a day when he came to have dinner in my studio, there are three important elements:
- In the mirror, you can see the large picture of the guru hanging on the wall.
- On my head, a kippa with their mantra: "Long live our master..."
- In the bottom left corner, the book of an author who would ultimately help me find a way out.
To read the full story and more, get more information, details, and references to Chabad books on which I base my testimony, you can purchase my book: A Thunderous Elephant.
Feel free to share my testimony—I thank you in advance.
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